Saint Lexi

I have to write a 5 page rhetorical analysis of an academic source for a research paper. Instead of doing that I have been doing this:

• Watching Roseanne
• Reredesigning my website
• Wrestling with my cat, Hemingway
• Changing my clothes
• Thinking, “I wish I was the kind of person who has a drink every now and then.”
• Then thinking, “But what if the wine I like isn’t the cool wine?”
• Googling “Cool wine”
• Posting this list

my flesh moves a lot when i walk
tiny earthquakes from hip to heel
sending responses to the world i walk upon

the first time i remember feeling the weight of my body
on a diving board waiting for the water to clear
the boy behind me jumped up and down
pointing out to all his friends how i was
jiggly

in that moment, i felt totally betrayed
not by boy or friends or genes or trends
but by my body which refused to stop jiggling
i felt like my thighs
who never outgrew their baby fat
had stolen from me my favorite thing
a swimsuit, some water, a sunny day

through all the grades and all the days
where i hid my legs
because they were made to be hidden
their movement confined to jeans oversized
and tshirts over swimming apparel

til something snapped
and i saw my legs not as flaws but as glorious, jiggly, transportation
not only carrying me from point a to point b
but also commenting on the scenery
in rhythm and love notes and shaky thank yous
their constant chatter another reminder
of the adventure i am on and the one that went before

no longer hidden under sheaths of cotton
they breathe
strong, thick, dimpled in places, unappoligetic
to that boy on the board laughing
these legs move with me

(Source: saintlexi)